Saturday, May 20, 2006

This Car Brakes for Yard Sales!

Is there anything better than a yard sale? I mean, from an Anthropological viewpoint. Personally, I heart them. Especially when 1) it is my yard sale, and 2) when I don’t care one bit if I make any money.

I had a yard sale today that fit those two criteria, and lemme tell you, it was a hoot. (That’s yard sale lingo.) We moved to Wisteria Lane last fall, and despite several thousand trips to the nearest St. Vinnies, I still have a three car garage that barely fits one smallish SUV. I was just about to do another purge for the less fortunate, when I got a flier from my homeowners’ association.

Neighborhood Sale.

I think I may have peed a little. Have I mentioned that I freaking L.O.V.E. yard sales? So despite contracting what has be the first case of Bird SARS on Wisteria Lane, I drug my sorry ass out of bed on Monday and made my pile o’ stuff. It wasn’t a huge pile, but there were some choice items. Last night I priced everything, and this morning at o’dark thirty I was out in the driveway, sharpie in hand, putting the finishing touches on my salute to capitalism.

It was fabulous. The first person who drove up asked me a bunch of really, really stupid questions. I’m one of those people who takes things to be “signs” so I was sort of rattled. But the very next person who pulled up was clearly a yard sale veteran. She didn’t buy a thing, but she did stop and say, “Your prices are good. Real good.” Sweet effin’ victory. Within a half hour I’d sold a television set for $20, some Pottery Barn-esque shelving (that my husband banished from the new house after we had to patch the wall in our old house twice because of them) for $15. And some plastic bowling pins for twenty-five cents.

By noon, the designated end of the neighborhood sale, I made $115. AND GOT RID OF ALL THAT CRAP. I mean, isn’t it amazing that people will give you money to haul off the junk that you were almost too embarrassed to put out? I even sold some stuff that the former owner of my house left in the garage like an inconsiderate SOB. (So, take that sucka. I made seventy-five cents off your inconsiderate ass today.) There were actually several times when I had to bite my tongue so as not to say to a customer, “I can’t BE-LEEEEEEVE you’re going to give me a dollar for that. Seriously.”

Anyhooo, (more lingo) I sold every dingle dangle thing that I had been hoping to get rid of. And, I got to do some excellent people watching while hanging out with Sweet Pea on a gorgeous, sunny Saturday morning. Plus, you know, you kinda feel like you did a good thing when you sell your mountain bike that you hate to a college student desperate for a mode of transportation.

And, I got two really cool early American planters and a metal picnic basket from my neighbor. Just keeping the wheel in motion.



Marketing Blog said...

This is funny.

Clover said...

Thanks Marketing Blog!

You might want to quit reading this after I come work for you.

I'm just sayin'...

MuffinTucker said...

I was recently disappointed when I had to haul more crap than I sold to the Goodwill station. I need remedial garage saling assistance.