Saturday, May 20, 2006

This Car Brakes for Yard Sales!

Is there anything better than a yard sale? I mean, from an Anthropological viewpoint. Personally, I heart them. Especially when 1) it is my yard sale, and 2) when I don’t care one bit if I make any money.

I had a yard sale today that fit those two criteria, and lemme tell you, it was a hoot. (That’s yard sale lingo.) We moved to Wisteria Lane last fall, and despite several thousand trips to the nearest St. Vinnies, I still have a three car garage that barely fits one smallish SUV. I was just about to do another purge for the less fortunate, when I got a flier from my homeowners’ association.

Neighborhood Sale.

I think I may have peed a little. Have I mentioned that I freaking L.O.V.E. yard sales? So despite contracting what has be the first case of Bird SARS on Wisteria Lane, I drug my sorry ass out of bed on Monday and made my pile o’ stuff. It wasn’t a huge pile, but there were some choice items. Last night I priced everything, and this morning at o’dark thirty I was out in the driveway, sharpie in hand, putting the finishing touches on my salute to capitalism.

It was fabulous. The first person who drove up asked me a bunch of really, really stupid questions. I’m one of those people who takes things to be “signs” so I was sort of rattled. But the very next person who pulled up was clearly a yard sale veteran. She didn’t buy a thing, but she did stop and say, “Your prices are good. Real good.” Sweet effin’ victory. Within a half hour I’d sold a television set for $20, some Pottery Barn-esque shelving (that my husband banished from the new house after we had to patch the wall in our old house twice because of them) for $15. And some plastic bowling pins for twenty-five cents.

By noon, the designated end of the neighborhood sale, I made $115. AND GOT RID OF ALL THAT CRAP. I mean, isn’t it amazing that people will give you money to haul off the junk that you were almost too embarrassed to put out? I even sold some stuff that the former owner of my house left in the garage like an inconsiderate SOB. (So, take that sucka. I made seventy-five cents off your inconsiderate ass today.) There were actually several times when I had to bite my tongue so as not to say to a customer, “I can’t BE-LEEEEEEVE you’re going to give me a dollar for that. Seriously.”

Anyhooo, (more lingo) I sold every dingle dangle thing that I had been hoping to get rid of. And, I got to do some excellent people watching while hanging out with Sweet Pea on a gorgeous, sunny Saturday morning. Plus, you know, you kinda feel like you did a good thing when you sell your mountain bike that you hate to a college student desperate for a mode of transportation.

And, I got two really cool early American planters and a metal picnic basket from my neighbor. Just keeping the wheel in motion.

~Clover

3 comments:

Marketing Blog said...

This is funny.

Clover said...

Thanks Marketing Blog!

You might want to quit reading this after I come work for you.

I'm just sayin'...
~clover

MuffinTucker said...

I was recently disappointed when I had to haul more crap than I sold to the Goodwill station. I need remedial garage saling assistance.