Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Up until this past weekend, Halloween was my favorite holiday. I love to get creeped out. I love to get dressed up. I love candy, and parties, and carving pumpkins. Love. It.

And then I had one of those moments in parenthood where you get a little glimpse into the future and it scares you more than the boogeyman ever could.

We were attending a fundraiser that just so happened to be taking place right next door to a high school dance. (The dance was at the Old Idaho Penitentiary. It’s a museum now, but still pretty creepy. Cool place for a Halloween dance, don’t you think?) Both events ended about the same time, so the shared parking lot was filled with costumed teenagers.

My husband and I stood slack jawed as we watched a stream of barely clothed young ladies getting into cars with equally slack jawed young men. Hey…now that I think of it, maybe I should ask M why HE was slack jawed…

Anyway, when did “Hooker” become the costume of choice for teenaged America? I’m talking butt-cheeks-hanging-out, fishnet stockings on garter belts, thigh high patent leather stripper boots, bare midriffs. The works. Stuff that I would KILL to have the body to wear for just one night. And those girls looked hott. With two T's. Of course they did, they are 17. They have no body fat, and they can use enough makeup and hairspray to make themselves look 25. There isn’t a 25 year old on the planet that could have pulled off those costumes with the same success. You have to have the skin and body of a girl-child, Wonderbra does the rest.

It’s funny how the girls can look so grown up, but the boys all look 12 years old. Complete with bad skin and arms that hang too close to their knees. I rather felt sorry for them. They looked like puppy dogs on little strings. Panting around after HOOKERS.

The moral of this story is that Sweet Pea will never know what it is like to attend a dance without her parents chaperoning. She may even have to learn to slow dance with her shotgun toting father standing in between her and her date.



Crankster said...

Clover, are you sure that those were hooker costumes? Maybe it was a basketball game letting out, and the girls were wearing their regular school clothes.

Clover said...

Laugh all you want Crankypants. That little chicken of yours will be wanting to show off her thighs and breasts one day too. ;-)


misanthropster said...

I think crankster is planning on sending the chicken off to Jesuit Catholic military boarding school in Saudi Arabia or something when that time rolls around.

Although, honestly, with the clothes they're putting out for little girls these days, that time will probably be when she goes to pre-school. SHEESH.