Friday, December 08, 2006

Fair warning to the 5 people who read this blog.

Last night I caved to my guilty conscience and agreed to make a brief appearance at a Christmas party. There was free booze, and suffice to say my brief appearance turned into a big night out complete with dirty dive bar karaoke. As a result, I’m having a hard time stringing words together into complete sentences. And I am also swearing like a trucker. So. My point was…Shit. I don’t remember.

Anyway, there is this burning topic that I have been wanting to address here for at least the last week or so. And I know that you will be so glad I finally put fingers to keyboard and let ‘er rip. Because this is important. IMPORTANT.

Have you ever seen that cartoon Max and Ruby? It’s on Noggin. (we loooooove Noggin at our house, esp. the Upside Down Show which is like the best present a Mommy could ask for. Because brothers Shane and David mesmerize two year olds for 30 full minutes, and if you can get past the toddler mesmerizing antics, that Shane is pretty hot. David is cute too, but something about the air guitar playing bald brother melts my butter. There is a cute Wiggle too, but those guys annoy the crap out of me.)

What was I talking about? Oh, right. Max and Ruby.

So Max and Ruby are a brother and sister bunny duo. The intro song tells us that Max is Ruby’s “little” brother. And their clothes and toys would lead one to believe that these are bunny children. But if you watch the show for long enough, say, every morning during breakfast for a few months, you start to notice some really odd things about those rabbits.

For starters, Ruby is destined for sainthood. She has never kicked, hit, spit on, or yelled at Max. Ever. And he is the kind of little brother that would drive any normal person batshit crazy. His toys are loud and annoying. He is uncooperative. He runs off in the mall. He is stubborn and slow moving. And he’s into gross things like worms and mud and gooey sticky candy called Jelly Balls. But she never gets upset with him. She has never even yelled, “Moooooooooooooom, Max put worms in my tea set again.” Probably because there are NEVER any parents at their house. In fact, Ruby is the most maternal sister I have ever seen in my life. She makes breakfast, lunch, and dinner for that bratty little brother, takes him shopping for clothes, cleans his room, worries about his nutrition and hygene, navigates her way around town on public transportation…way more responsibility than a young bunny should have to bear if you ask me.

UNLESS…as I suspect, these are not in fact bunny children. Stay with me here, because I think I might be onto some big breakthrough. I think, that Max and Ruby just might be, and I apologize for my lack of political correctness here, adult bunny midgets. And Max is some kind of savant.

That would explain why someone who looks like 6 year old would be left to care for someone who looks and talks like a 2 year old without the help of any adults. There is a “Grandma” bunny character who lives down the street. She occasionally drops in on Max and Ruby, but not to parent them in any way. Come to think of it, her behavior is suspiciously SOCIAL WORKER like, if you ask me.

So, that’s my earth shattering Max and Ruby expose. Do with it what you will.


Annie said...

Heh, sounds a little bit like a bunny husband and wife. Albeit a midget-bunny husband and wife....

OK, so maybe that's not true, because I sure as heck am not destined for sainthood.

BTW, I didn't realize until the other day that you had this blog!

Clover said...

Well, I'm really glad you found me. :)

Husband and wife, now you just might be onto something.

My other thought was that maybe Ruby was a teen parent, and her parents "adopted" Max to save her the shame...

I dunno. But there is definately SOMETHING going on with those rabbits.

Lee said...

Hi! Came here from Misanthroper...

I haven't seen this show, but from the sounds of it, I'm going to conclude that that they were obviously Siamese twins separated at birth. Ruby feels guilty for getting the boobies so she treats her bro with kindness cuz she knows he's a two-time loser.

My boys are 11 and 12, so I took them to watch James Bond. I tried not to melt in my seat. It's so much better than Rugrats: The Movie.

Clover said...

Yesterday on Max and Ruby, Ruby and her friend Louise made Max be the baby while they played house. They were making him do all manner of things that would be embarrassing to any self respecting 3 year old, and he was definately looking at them muderously. So, that seemed a little more like the kind of sibling relationship I'm used to. But then today, Max tampered with every single one of Ruby's boxes of Bunny Scout brownies that she was trying to sell, and all she did was sigh and try to find him something more constructive to do.


I can think of several times where I caused my little brother bodily harm over something less catistrophic than hundreds of dollars worth of damaged Bunny Scout merchandise.

Seriously. They need to start fighting. It's making me feel like a bad person.