Thursday, June 05, 2008

I am at a crossroads.

I have a closet full of skinny clothes and “transition” clothes. But not a lot in the “things that fit over my potentially permanently spread hips” department. And nothing weather appropriate that covers up the girls without a lot of stretching and gapping.

For now, the transition clothes get to stay because no matter how unattractively they sag, I can pull them up over my bootie. Not to mention that there are a lot of long sleeved options in that particular life phase wardrobe. And since summer seems destined to pass us by this year, I’m getting some good wear out of the 6 identical Eddie Bauer t-shirts (in white, crème, pink, green, blue, and gray.)

But the skinny clothes…the beautiful skinny clothes. The entire wardrobe gleefully purchased at Ann Taylor Loft back in the day when I discovered that weeks of working out with a trainer had landed me in a size 4 petit. (Hello! That’s like a SIZE 2!!) What on earth do I do with the skinny clothes? The part of me that lives in reality land – which is also the part of me that just ate a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie – is not all that interested in being a size 4 petit ever again. It involved a very regimented gym schedule that just isn’t happening now that I have added kid #2 to the mix. And it definitely did not allow for eating off of your 4 year old’s plate, or having Ben and Jerry’s Cake Batter ice cream before bed.

When I was at my most fit, I weighted about 125 lbs. and had muscles in my legs that I could see when I walked. (Damn that was cool.) I think that was some sort of weird post-first-pregnancy-hormone-induced-weight-loss-miracle though. Now, if I were to actually put some effort into regular workouts and healthy eating I could probably be a 135 pound size six and look pretty smokin’ hot. Not to mention feel all strong and have lots of energy and be super healthy, blah blah blah.

Right now I am at 145, all of which seems to be clinging for dear life to my butt, upper arms and stomach. (As opposed to where else Clover? Your toes? Your earlobes. Face it sister you are just plain pudgy in all the places where pudgy exists.) And I am REALLY not in love with the muffin top. (Hello…re-read the last 2 sentences of the preceding paragraph stoopit.)

So what’s a girl to do? Besides the obvious Ben & Jerry’s ban. Should I get rid of my skinny clothes? Pack them away in the garage for a while? Or just keep them in my closet to torture…erm…motivate me? And in the meantime, what on earth am I going to wear??

Le sigh.
~ Clover


scarlett said...

I wish I had some profound wisdom to pass on but I don't. I think you look great for having just had that little one 8 months ago. I know what you mean about the gym though...who has time. It seems I get my workout carrying laundry up and down stairs. I think there are a lot of women who would be envious of your size 6 that we both know who claimed that she was still carrying baby weight even though her baby is almost 2. Okay that was totally catty!!! Hang in there sister you will find your perfect weight soon.

Clover said...

If it walks and talks, you don't have baby weight. :)

If it weren't for the nothing to wear factor, I would be feeling pretty good right now. I mean, esp. when you consider that I was a size 10 when I got pregnant the first time. But SP was 7 months old when I joined the gym last time around. So I keep thinking that now is the time to kick this last 10 lbs to the curb, and I just can't make it happen.


Slacker Mama said...

Hi! Thanks for commenting on my blog!

I know exactly what you mean about the weight. I've got clothes in my closet that I don't know will ever fit me again, even if I do lose the weight. I keep them *just in case* and to make my closet look fuller than it is. Having only three pairs of pants that fit me hanging in a walk in closet would look pretty pathetic!

BTW...I saw your link below on non-Princess books. I highly recommend "Cinder Edna". Very cute!

Clover said...

I was searching my 'rent's computer last night for pix I need for my dad's father's day gift, (whoa, that was a lot of punctuation) and I stumbled upon a picture of me when I was at my most fit. Ohmahgah...My hair was really blonde, and I am wearing this tiny little white sweater. Damn. On the one hand I feel like I should print it out and use it for motivation. And on the other hand it's just kind of depressing. LOL.

Thanks for the empathy!!

Beege said...

Ugh. I'm there, too. Only further down the line from childbirth.

Me? I'm doing Weight Watchers. My goal is not to get my skinny little ass back (my size 6 days are probably long gone...), but to get into a healthy BMI range.

Of course, looking good in a swim suit wouldn't hurt, either. :)