Thursday, August 07, 2008

Have you peed your pants yet today? No? This should do the trick.

Except now I want to eat cake. Even if it is a butter cream monstrosity with glaring grammatical errors. Ok. But maybe not any of the ones that look like actual poo.

Here is my problem. When I’m hungry, I eat something. I my mind, the food choices I make are fairly healthy. But apparently losing your baby weight requires you to be freaking starving all the time.

So here is what I’ve had to eat today:
8:00 – One container of blueberry yogurt. No, not the all natural organic no sugar, no flavor, no chance of containing high fructose corn syrup kind. Because, quite frankly, that stuff tastes like shit. But still, it is just an 8 oz container of yogurt. So that should count as kind of healthy, right?? (Apparently I am insecure and defensive about breakfast. Interesting.)

9:45 – My stomach started growling despite the fact that I was all, “Hey stomach. You just ate yogurt. Chill.” So I had a celery stalk with some peanut butter on it.

10:15 – Still. Freakin. HUNGRY. So I ate half an English muffin with PB&J on it that Sweet Pea didn’t finish and left in the car. DUDE, how gross is that? I ate reject preschooler breakfast.

12:00 – Leftover tacos from dinner last night = 1 small tortilla, probably 2 -3 tablespoons ground beef, a medium sized pinch of grated cheese, a ton of salsa – because yum, right? And 2 tablespoons of guacamole that I made last night from fresh avocados and if we’re telling the truth I would like to just get a spoon and eat the whole freaking container.

And also I have been a good girl about the water drinking today. I bet I’ve had at least 32 oz.

It is 12:39 and I am feeling a bit peckish. WTH?

Why can’t my body just eat my ass for a while??

This is going to be hard. I did go to the gym this morning though. Here is what I learned:

My Mom is a BAD ASS NINJA. Seriously. She is back in the gym this week after having full on knee replacement surgery only 7 weeks ago. I did the “Body Pump” class with her. (She already did it on Tuesday this week, and before surgery was doing this class 3 times a week I think. PLUS a cardio workout AND swimming AND another class that is sort of a pilates/core thingo.) Anyway, let’s just say that my mom lifted as much weight as I did, if not more. And she didn’t look like she was struggling to steer her Caddy out of the parking lot. Unlike some other jello armed girl we know who thought that carrying a 20 lb. baby around all the time might mean she had some biceps.

HELLO, I carry a 20 pound baby around all the time. Why am I still so freakin’ fat??


Pity Party, table for one…



Clover said...

I'm just going to start out the comments section here and let you know that I realize I am not obese or anything. I am just frustrated to have stalled out with 10 lbs to go before I am back at my pre-baby weight.

And really, I would like to lose 15 lbs and be in a nice comfortable size 4. Which, isn't super thin for me. (I was a size 2 after SP was born...) 130 pounds is fit, and healthy and strong. I'm not trying to be all Paris Hilton or anything. But I would like to be able to wear my pants from 2 summers ago. That seems reasonable. Thanks for being concerned though.

Slacker Mama said...

Come over to the dark side...the world of Weight Watchers! I'm down 10+ pounds with barely a workout session involved.

And, FWIW, I like the Stonyfield Light (not non-fat) yogurt. Organic and good for you, but pretty tasty. As much tasty as an edible dairy product that *isn't* ice cream can be.

Myshell said...

This post had me giggling, not at you, just the funny and honest way you said it. Keep up the good work!

"Why can't my body just eat my ass for a while??" Too funny!

Beege said...

Yeah--Weight Watchers is what's (finally) doing it for me. Although I sort of crapped out on it after vacay. And then I thought, "I'll just wait until after I-dee-ho." and now, well, I'm still trying to find something to postpone climbing back on the wagon.

I do the flex plan. I like it. As much as I like any diet. LOL

Clover said...

I know. I really should do that. I've been thinking about it, and yapping about it for a long time. Do you guys go to the meetings, or do it online? The thing that keeps holding me back is trying to figure out childcare for the meeting times. Since I do a lot of solo parenting during the week.

Myshell - welcome! And I'm glad I made you giggle. You have validated my blog for the day. Woo! :)

Slacker Mama said...

I'm a meeting nerd. It's Wed @ 8:30 AM on the way into work. I drop the girls off earlier than normal to daycare if John can't take them in...and I've stopped feeling guilty about it.

As much as I don't want to need the meetings, I do. I was trying to count points on my own, then trying to blog my weigh-ins weekly and neither of them worked really well. Something about a total stranger weighing me in, and spending 30 minutes talking about it makes me more accountable.

It's weird how I've drank the (O pt) kool-aid.

Clover said...

Would it be uber dorky of me to go to the meetings with my mom?

I'm ready for the Kool-Aid.

wiwwa said...

Not dorky at all to go with your mom. Just do whatever works (says the girl who hasn't gone to Curves in 3 weeks).

I mostly wanted to let you know that the Cake Wrecks blog is CRACKING me up! I love that it is part of my browsing pleasure! Thank you for that!