Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I swear to God that I had this exact conversation today at the Home Depot.

Me: “Can you tell me the difference between these two garbage disposals.”

The Home Depot “Expert”: (reading the box) “This one has ½ a horsepower, this one has ¾ horsepower.”

Me: “Right, Ok. Yeah. I see that. But what does that mean exactly?”

The Home Depot “Expert”: “Ok, so visualize the numbers 1 through 10. Five is right in the middle. So that’s half. And 7 is ¾.”


“Riiiight. Ok. So, I guess what I’m asking is…"

The Home Depot “Expert”: So ¾ is a quarter more horsepower than ½.

Me: Um, yeah. I understand fractions. What I don’t understand is whether or not a quarter more horsepower is worth twenty bucks. Is it going to allow me to grind up tree stumps or what?

At which point he told me that it was indeed worth the $20, but I probably didn’t need it because the other one would be just fine.

But, um...ok..Wha?

I don’t even really know what else to say about that. I bought the ½ horsepower one. In case you had to know.



Anonymous said...

Oh, a "Jane, you ignorant slut" conversation. Jeez.
Aunty M.

Crankster said...

I wish they'd use clear examples, like "1/4 horsepower won't do much beyond grinding ice, 1/2 horsepower should take care of most of your kitchen messes, 3/4 horsepower is great if you plan on chopping up your wooden spoons, and a full horsepower is the go-to disposal if you want to get rid of a human body."

Of course, that would require imagination, which is something that Home Depot doesn't test for in its hiring process!

Tales from the Crib said...

That is awesome! I love the complexity of a "man's world." This reminds me when my mother was looking at materials for new kitchen counters and the Home Depot guy (perhaps the same one you had) tells her that "Granite is a hard rock." My mother huffily replied "Yes, I know that - I have a college education and am an educator, I don't need you to be condescending to me!" and she walked away. Rock on mama, rock on...

congrats on your new stump grinder!

Clover said...

Honestly, I'm not even sure he was being a dick. I mean, on purpose. I think he was just kind of stupid.

Is that charitable?