Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for your responses to yesterday's freakout du jour. This afternoon my mom was all, "GO READ WHAT J WROTE ON YOUR BLOG" in that tone that indicates wise women have spoken. I think that was before the other responses, which were also totally fabulous. Thank you for sharing, and for your wonderful words of encouragement.

Here's what I'm a gonna do...For sure the kids will be home with me by June at the latest. They get to have a "real" summer, and I get another month or two to finish some projects that I have in the wings. Between now and then the kids will still do their very flexible 3 day a week "school" schedule. And I will evaluate, at the beginning of each month, if I'm ready for them be home all day - meaning earlier than June.

The June thing has been my plan for several weeks now. I just had a minor deviation from said plan yesterday on account of the no sleeping, miserable baby (poor baby!), sucky economy, etc. etc. etc. But my wonderful and grounded husband has also been reassuring. Soooo...back to the new and improved plan. (All my face to face friends are cracking up right now about my inability to function without a plan.)

I may be operating from a pretty selfish place here. But I keep thinking that I started planning for my fake retirement in April of last year. I have this list of things I wanted to do come November. And with the holidays (and sick kids) I haven't crossed a whole lot off the list. So I think my freakout was coming from that place. The one that really wants to launch an Etsy site and see what happens. I'm so close...And, Sweet Pea gets to finish her pre-school curriculum. Will is probably getting the shortest straw here. But he will never remember. (Kidding...He LOVES school. Really, he does. And we LOVE our school. So I am Ok with this.)

Then, in June we get to play play play in the sunshine. Come fall Sweet Pea will start half day kindergarten, and maybe Will will go back to daycare 2 days a week or something. Depends. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Yes? Sound good? Is is strange that I'm turning to the internet to help me make this decision? You girls know I love you...

Oh, and if you are worried about BabyBoy, let me tell you that the poor child has a double ear infection. But he also has a moonshine jug of yummy pink medicine. So he is upstairs sleeping peacefully for the longest stretch in 3 days. POOR BABY! Except that I always did love me up some amoxicillin. Don't tell, but I lick the drips off my fingers when I give it to him.

OK! Pictures!

So. I have come to terms with the sewing, scrapping, baking, semi-SAHM that seems to have burst forth from my former career girl/kareoke bar fly self. But bird feeders? Really? TWO of them? With special food I buy to attract local birds? And then the countless pictures of plain brown birds? Where is this coming from? But oh how I love my little flock of Chickadees. And just wait until this Spring when the Tannigers come back...

This is our Dirty Rotten Scoundrel. Sweet Pea and I love to wait until he is doing just this, and then we burst through the door and yell, "YOUGETOUTTAHERE! GIT! GIT! GITBACKUPINTHATTREE!!!" Heh. Next I am going to invest in one of those thingies you hang your feeder from that spins if something heavy (like a squirrel) climbs onto the feeder. OMG. Spinning squirrels. Comedy Gold.

As all you other moms know, this kind of thing is so common around here it didn't even register to photograph it. But thank goodness for Mr. G and his fresh perspective. Because that is some kind of cute right there.

This is Sweet Pea's own submission to the Week in Pictures Project. I think we'll make it a regular feature.

My MIL's birthday present. The wrapping is cute, but the Cloverlicious present is cuter. And I will tell you all about it when she gets to open it. Someday.


jmac said...

CANNOT believe you posted about your birds today!! I spent ALL day Tuesday in my sunroom on a rainy cold day photographing my birds outside my window. Gonna send them to you!!

and don't worry about the've hung with clisa too much. heh. No one can plan like that ho!!!! NOONE!!

Sara Joy said...

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

I think that is the wisest thing you said. I have been reading this with utter fascination, because even though it's pre-emptive, I can work myself up into a genuine tizzy in about .00005 seconds thinking about working vs. SAHMing. I am a planner too (duh).

I love children and babies. I want kids, lots if I'm able, and sooner rather than later. And half of me wants nothing more that to be a SAHM for a million bajillion reasons. But I freaking love my job. I have an awesome career going. And I'm marrying an artist who I can't imagine being able to support us. SO? So I don't worry about it. I have so many girlfriends who are dead set that they will stay at home or dead set that they never will. And I just think it's stupid because they have no idea how they will ACTUALLY feel when they ACTUALLY have children.

We as women are always going to have to fight the images in our head of who we think we should be and what everyone else expects of us. To be the perfect wife, mother, employee, whatever. I think you are doing a FANTASTIC job of taking it one step at a time, deciding constantly what is best for YOU and YOUR FAMILY at every juncture. Go KK!

And Will will NOT get the short end of the stick. He gets to be home with you and play. I actually think he wins :)

Clover said...

Honestly, I don't think you know what you want to do until you're in the middle of it. And even then it's day by day. Being home with kids all day long is really, really hard. It's not bad, but it's definately a test of your patience and sanity. :) It's easy to lose who you are when your kids are little. It doesn't matter how great a mom you are. You just pour so much of yourself into your family. Sometimes that is rewarding in itself. And sometimes it's just draining.

I am so lucky that from the very beginning I have had flexibility in my job, and support from my husband and my family. I don't know how you do it without those things. Honestly. Gold medals all around to the moms who are a million miles away from their support system. Or single. That would be really challenging for me.

My kids love school. I love school. It's win win for us. And for now I am putting a lot of energy into getting things in order around here so that we can have a summer to just PLAY. Woo!

Everyone's invited by the way. Come hang at Camp Clover.

(Stolen from CooLisa. Who, like J says, could plan her way to the moon. She is my domestic goddess mentor and idol. And that is saying a lot, because you should meet my MOM! Pretty awesome in her own right.)