Monday, February 23, 2009

For about the last 6 -8 weeks I have had horrible pain in my neck and shoulders. Despite that one little foray into childbirth au naturalle, I am a gigantic wuss. Big ol’ baby. No, wait. I have a baby. He takes headers down the stairs and doesn’t even whimper. Babies are badasses compared to me.

So, basically, my pain in the neck has turned me into a pain in the butt. I have been popping Aleve like candy. I actually wore out the electric heating pad and then used every last grain of rice we had in the house to make myself a neck thingy.* A couple weeks ago when we were in the mountains I tried to replicate the neck thingy by microwaving a bag of birdseed. It worked Ok until the bag split open. I am confident we will be sweeping up birdseed for all eternity. Which, incidentally, is about how long I thought I would be living with the neck and shoulder pain.

And then I met Paige. (Music swells.)

*You know, old sock, rice, microwave. It’s disgusting really. And it didn’t work. So you can imagine how pissed I was when I went to replace the risotto rice and remembered that it’s like $9.00 a jar.

So I had a gift certificate to a swanky spa that I got for referring an OB patient to my baby doc. That is another story right there, because that woman was a Piece. Of. Work. And I am pretty damn sure that by the time her baby was born the doc was expecting me to buy him a fancy spa day. But as HIPPA protects me from having to hear about what a pain in the butt she was, Baby Doc presented me with the gift certificate with only a slight grimace. And off we went. Well, not really. I’ve been hanging on to the dumb thing for over a year. It is a miracle that they are still in business really. What with the bad economy and the black circle of death that Me having a gift certificate seems to be for a small business. (Also true for TV shows. If I like it, it will not last 2 seasons. Trust me.)

Anyhoo…I went to the fancy spa, and cute little petit Paige gave me a “therapeutic massage” that was about as relaxing and spa like as an extended stay at Gitmo. But baby, it hurt soooo good. So when she gave me her business card with the information about her acupuncture services I made an appointment immediately.

Today was treatment #2. It is a TRIP y’all. But I am on board completely. Not only is it working, but the girl is fascinating me! She has diagnosed me with a blood deficiency, and a liver deficiency. (Hmm…liver problems…why oh why would I have liver problems…?) She keeps asking/telling me things that are more intuitive than what I got from my psychic reading. My liver told her all that. For reals. As it turns out, if you pay attention to your body it tells you stuff.

My body is doing a lot of talking right now. So much so that it talked me into letting Paige stick needles in my feet. NEEDLES IN MY FEET. Ok. Maybe you don’t totally understand what a big deal that is. But let me just tell you this – I don’t even let my husband touch my feet. NO TOUCHY THE FEET. Unless you are a pedicurist, and then please be delicate. And no toe popping like that little mean grandma lady at the Vietnamese nail place at the Palouse Empire Mall did. I swear I almost cried.

Ahem.

But like I said, it really is working. I can’t believe how much better I am feeling. So if anyone local interested in getting to know Paige drop me a note. She is very good at what she does. For proof look no further than my gracefully flowing Chi.

~Clover

3 comments:

scarlett said...

Hmm, sounds like my massage gal. I was having horrible pain in my chest...pulled intercostals due to the piggies I think. Any hoo I am laying there and she starts massaging the top of my foot and I thought I would come off the table. You would have thought I had dropped a 20 lb bowling ball on my foot and she was digging deep into that yucky ol bruise...not so, barely touching me and then she explains that area was directly connected to my rib cage ohhh, really. She said you must be having pain in your chest area. Well yeah, that's why I am here. After that I was sold. She hits muscles I never knew existed but cause me a lot of pain oh and feed my advil addiction!

Shannon said...

I totally believe in the body/mind connection!!! I'm so glad you found Paige -- she sounds like a miracle worker. Whenever my body needs to "tell" me something, I get back pain that makes me walk around like Frankenstein. It's really not pretty.

Clover said...

Hey Shannon! :) So the other little coincidence here is that Paige's office is right next to Courtney's office on 9th Street. So I got to chat with Courtney on Monday. Which I'm sure was a treat for her given that I smelled like linament and had face pillow lines on my face. Woo!

S - So you are getting regular massage now? Good idea! I need to figure out how to budget for that. As it is, I am spending my birthday money for these treatments. My insurance policy specifically outlaws acupuncture. SO LAME.