Tuesday, February 03, 2009

I think we need to talk more about this SAHM thing. It sounds like there are a lot of us in similar headspace.

Beege - YES! Structure. How much is enough? What things do we focus on? How do I make it worthwhile for Sweet Pea (who will be 5 this summer) and yet include Will/keep nap time in tact? (Will is going to be 20 months in June.)

THAT right there is a big part of what keeps me on the fence about this. Right now they spend about 20 hours a week with trained child development specialists in a building that is wall to wall kid. Touch tables. Class pets. Dressup stations. Art Easles. Playground equipment. Their own Mac loaded with kid friendly programs to teach reading and typing. They know how to do stuff that I didn't even know they were capable of. Not that I think kids HAVE to be drilled on flashcards or have an activity every second of the day. But they LOVE stuff like art, and music class, and HELLO - having friends! So how is staying home with me all the time WAAAAAY better than that?

Then again...! So. All you mom's who stay or stayed at home. What kinds of stuff do you do? Library? Touch Museums? Craft projects? How often? Do you have a strict routine? Lose routine? Fly by the seat of your Pampers? Do you do any playdate/mommy group type stuff? How do your kids get face time with other wee people?

I should probably mention here that I am pretty convinced my kids are going to end up being much, much smarter than I am. So, you know. There's that. I don't want them to be bored all the time. And I KNOW that sometimes Sweet Pea gets bored on her home days. (I know this because she is all, "Mooooommmmm, I'm BORED." No subtlety that one.) A little boredom is Ok. But sometimes she begs to be taken back to school. That seems like something is off...

I am probably over thinking this. But I figure it's better to have a whole arsenal of ideas and only use a few than to be idea-less. Right?


Ok, there aren't really any pictures. There was a lot of snot, and that was about it. But here's a cute one from the dance recital on Saturday:

Can't wait to hear what y'all have to say.


Anonymous said...

Stay at home mom is a horrid term and sounds limp and languid, when the job of MAMA is anything but that. Eliminate it from your vocabulary and liberate your identity!
Just let your children entertain you! It goes super fast.

beege said...

As far as bringing Will along, my take on it is this: Nea and Sarah LUV to be together, at all times, as much as possible. So to try and plan activities for one or the other of them is pretty much an impossibility.

I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that Sarah is going to do stuff at 21 months that Nea didn't do until she was older. Like drawing with markers. Don't even TRY to tell my baby she's too little for markers. She will cut you. So we compromise, and Nea gets to play with washable markers when Sarah is around, and her "big kid" markers when Sarah is napping.

I save the truly Big Kid stuff for nap times. Nea goes down for some quiet time (she's not really into napping anymore...pity), and then she can get up after about an hour and do Big Kid Stuff that gets put away when Sarah wakes up.

Which totally makes it sound like I've got my chit together, but the reality of my maternal life is that I'm alone with them MAYBE once a week. I guess that's why I don't think of Stay At Home as a horrid term. To me, as someone who's job keeps her away from her babies far more than she'd like, stay at home sounds pretty good. I'm just not sure I can do it. :/

Clover said...

I'm not so sure I feel the same passion about the Title. I mean, it's just a title. And I've got my hands pretty full trying to decide if I'm going to be able to hack it. LOL!

Yes, Will is already doing things that we waited on Sweet Pea for. He doesn't get bored. He sometimes gets tired and cranky, but never bored. SP on the other hand spends a lot of time trying to figure out things to do that are kinda quiet and not too messy. But I'm hoping that summertime will help with that. It will help, right??

scarlett said...

Okay sister....you are overthinking. There I said it but I get to say that to you. Sweet Pea will be in K soon and trust me once that happens your life shoots into hyperspeed. Seriously, everything goes fast after one is in school. So enjoy the summer. Forget schedules and once the fall roles around your schedule will revolve around school. Yes, you will enter the world of "child in school". There will be days to volunteer, parties, plays, field trips, and homework. It will create your schedule and you know what, who said Will can't go to preschool. When he is three put him in part-time preschool. They will make sure that brillant little brain is not wasted on his unscheduled random mom..hehe! All I can say is enjoy this time. I know it is hard but it does go fast. You don't think it does when your in the middle of ear aches, diapers, sticky floors and piles of laundry but when you look back...fast! I think about my little guy and I have 8 years left...8 that's all. I thought it would last forever now I realize it won't. So love'em up sister! and don't worry if you are doing everything right...you are!

Clover said...

Good advice! Good advice!

He's going back to school in the fall...Maybe not 3 days a week, but at least 2. (Any less than that and I think it would just be weird and upsetting to him.) But I want to be available to volunteer in her classroom. And as previously mentioned, I really do think that their time in daycare is valuable. (He is upstairs saying anmimal names and making their corresponding sounds. I didn't teach him that. I don't think...)

AngMomof3 said...

Ah, the requirements and potential job description that comes with SAHM...

I've been officially home for almost 5 years now. And I still don't think I'm getting it right (how long have I been at the computer while my son watches the boob tube and eats "fruit" snacks???)

You can spend a lot of time worrying or beating yourself up about what you're not doing. Or you can choose to KNOW that your being with them (no matter what you're doing) is what's best for them right now.

Good luck. And call me if you need a boost on a day where you aren't sure that you're doing the right thing!

Anonymous said...

And if you are a stay at home dad your acronym is SAHD.