Alright wise wimmins (and mens who never post comments)...I need you. Again. I am having a parenting conundrum.
It goes like this: Three ballet classes ago Sweet Pea came out at the halfway mark and told me tearily that she wanted to go home. She was starting to have the sniffles a little bit. So although I asked her several questions to find out what was making her want to go right then, I didn't really think twice about it. Home we went.
Then the next week she threw me a curveball by tearily refusing to go into the class once we were at the ballet studio. She didn't say a word about not wanting to go the whole time we were getting ready, or in the car...but when we got there she flat out refused to go in. I asked her if something had happened - my guess was that she was reprimanded by the teacher for not paying attention or being disruptive or something. She said no, nothing. So I told her that she needed to stay. She cried more. I told her that if we left that was it. No more ballet. She tearfully agreed to the conditions and went to the car. I was totally nonplussed. Where was this coming from?
Later she told me that one of the girls in class had said something that hurt her feelings. I told her that she couldn't let someone else ruin an activity that she loved. I told her that sticks and stones can break your bones...etc. etc. etc. If we're being honest I'm not sure that is actually what happened anyway. She is always reporting the rude things the other kids at preschool say and she is not phased. I think she just picked one of the myriad of things we (me, Mr. G, Grandma) were asking her about and stuck with it. As in, Me: "Did someone say something that hurt your feelings?" Her: "Uh...Yes? I mean, yes. Yes, that's exactly what happened."
If I really thought that she just hated ballet I would let her give it up. I mean, she's 4. This is not FAME. No big deal. Not to mention it costs $40 a month. But I think she does love it. And I think she would have serious regrets about quitting. So Mr. G and I decided to play Good Cop/Bad Cop and he told her that she needed to finish out the year. (Through May.) When we told her she seemed relieved. We also talked about it another time during the week AND this morning. Each time she seemed to be over it to me.
Then tonight she was practically in tears as we were getting in the car. We got to the ballet studio and she refused to go in the class. So I made her sit with me in the parents' waiting area for the whole hour. All the little girls in her class told her that they missed her and asked her to come in with them. No dice. She watched them practice their dance for the recital and was not moved. She did get pretty bored, and at the end of class she told me that she would like to participate next week. So maybe it's over. But, she's 4. 4 is fickle. So who knows if we will have a similar battle next time.
So. Am I doing the right thing? Should I have just let her quit? Now that we have laid down the law, what do we do if she is still upset to the point of tears next time?
That girl has a frightening ability to call my bluff. I am totally at a loss here.
And some random photos. Because it is Tuesday.
Can you tell me who is in these photos?
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and the rain fall softly on your fields.
And until we meet again someday,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
Happy Saint Patrick's Day!