Tuesday, March 31, 2009

No dice on the ballet thing tonight. I knew it was going south this morning in the car when she started whining about going. Then she dragged her feet getting dressed. And finally the whiny teary, "I don't want to go..."

So I just said fine, we're done. Sent a note to the studio just now.

I'm bummed. I think she will regret it. And I am so baffled at what is causing this.

So, we had to have some consequences since she didn't finish out the session as we discussed. There will be no TV this week. And I'm not signing her up for anything new until she's older. So she will be bummed about tennis lessons and cheer camp getting nixed from the summer schedule. (That was going to be the two activities that replaced Gymnastics and Ballet, which go on summer hiatus.)

She will also have to do some extra chores over the next couple of weeks to pay me back the $35 I spent on a recital costume that we will probably never see. So if anyone has any ideas on appropriate 4 year old chores, let me know. It needs to be above and beyond the things she does all the time, like helping to set the table and clearing her plate. I'm thinking she might be in charge of picking up the toys in the living room every night for a week or so. It's mostly her brother's mess, so that seems like work - right?

Aw boo. I'm bummed. I liked ballet. Little girls in pink tutus. Learning some poise, and appreciation for music other than Hanna Montana. Ballet is good.

Argh. I wish she would - or could - find the words to tell me why she is so adamant about not going back. It is SO weird. This is a girl who wants to read books about ballerinas all the time. Watched the Nutcracker from start to finish with wide eyes. Dances in the living room every night after dinner. Watches Shirley Temple movies just for the tap dancing...Me No Get.



Shannon said...

Awww. I'm so sorry. What a bummer.

You're doing the right thing though, for putting the consequences in place!

Sara Joy said...

Did she seem relieved or upset when you finally pulled the plug?

Just to test, it might be worthwhile to ask her how she would feel about going to a DIFFERENT ballet class. If she lights up and begs for it, that might mean there is something wrong with a girl in her class, or the teacher, or someone is bullying her or being inappropriate. If she whimpers and doesn't want to, then it is a weird ballet thing, and you are probably doing exactly the right thing by moving on and giving her consequences. It would just be so sad for her to abandon something she loves because she is too scared to tell you about a bully or something inappropriate in that particular class.

Sending hugs!!

Beege said...

I think picking up toys is a good idea. Whenever I ask my girls to do it, you'd think I had asked them to pull their own arms off and beat one another with them.

The other thing to keep in mind is that you can't want something for them more than they want it for themselves, you know? We all have the little girls in pink tutus fantasy--it practically comes with the second line on the pee stick. But it's not the thing for every little girl. There are other ways to introduce her to great music--maybe she won't be a dancer, but a lifelong lover of the ART of ballet, you know what I mean?

scarlett said...

My gal did the same thing and she really has never had a desire to go back. If I made her give up gymnastics it might be a different story. Consequences are good just remember she probably has no concept of the value of 35 bucks. So logical consequences are good. Maybe it will set in later when she wants to start something and you have to say oh bummer, girls that keep going to class get to start something new. To bad you decided to quit. That will get her thinking. I don't think she is starting down the path of a quitter....she's 4.