Monday, March 09, 2009

Three conversations overheard at Chez Golightly last week:

The First One, where Mommy has a coronary

Sweet Pea: “I do not like boys. Girls are only friends with girls. And boys are only friends with boys. Right mom?”

Me: “Well, not really. Boys can make great friends. You have lots of nice boys in your class to be friends with.”

Sweet Pea: “I do have one friend who is a boy. He’s my boyfriend.”

Me: “Oh yeah, who is that?”

Sweet Pea: “B is my boyfriend Mommy. You knew that.”

Me: “I know he’s your good buddy.”

Sweet Pea: “No mom…BOYFRIEND.”

Me: “How do you know he’s your boyfriend?”

Sweet Pea: “Because he loves me. We hold hands.”

Me: “Oh.”

Sweet Pea: “And he gives me kisses.”

Me: (internally) WHAT?? WHAT?? DID SHE JUST SAY THAT A BOY KISSES HER?? I take it all back. Boys are yucky and girls should not be friends with them. Wait. Act nonchallant so she will not stop talking. You need information.“So…you guys kiss each other…um…like, just on the cheeks or on the lips.”

Sweet Pea: “Just on the cheeks mom.”

Me: THANK YOU JESUS!!!
“Oh. Right. Well, that’s probably good so that you guys don’t get your germs all around. So…er…how does your teacher feel about all this kissing and hand holding?”

Sweet Pea: “Duh Mom…we don’t do that where the teacher can SEE!”


The Second One, where Mommy gets nowhere

Me: “Ok Buddy, time to change your clothes. Lets gp upstairs!”

Will: “Ball! BALL! BOOP BALL!!!”

Me: “Yep, there’s a ball. That’s a basket ball, not a football.”

Will: “Boop boop ball! Boop boop ball!! BALL!!!”

Me: “Uh Huh, can you please come here to Mommy Will? Come here…”

Will: “Ball, ball, ball, ball, ball, ball, BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL!!!!”

Me: “No thank you Will. Don’t run away from Mommy, lets go upstairs!”

Will: “NO! Ballballballballballballballballballballballballball…”


The Third One, where Mommy is insulted

Sweet Pea: “Look Mommy! I made a family out of my breakfast!”

Me: “Right on. Can you please eat it now?”

Sweet Pea: “See Mommy, this nectarine slice is the Daddy. And this is the mommy. And this is the sister, and this little one is the baby brother. No, wait. This big fat one is the mommy…”

Me: “Ok grea…Wait, what?”

~Clover

3 comments:

Beege said...

Oh my God, I'm ROLLING. These are hilarious! Will is SUCH a little boy--people can argue it nuture, but I think boys and girls are just fundamentally different.

I thought of you the other night. M and I were having a little "Mommy Daddy Time" and Nea crawled into bed with us. "Why are you hugging and laying down? You hug and STAND UP." Oh. Gee. Thanks for the tip. Now get back in your bed, please. :)

Sara Joy said...

That kissing story is SO. FUNNY. I was thinking about it and chuckling all day yesterday. I think you responded perfectly.

And Nea giving sex advice?? Another snort there!!

Tales from the Crib said...

I just laughed out loud and probably woke up a child. You owe me.