Monday, May 18, 2009

First - before we get to the part where I throw Karma to the wind - I want to tell you about a FABULOUS new web site that you should check out and tell all your mom friends about. My friend Shannon Patterson (of the Rayguns blog over there in the blogroll) just left her anchor position at our Fox affiliate to become a full time at home mom. This is her new project, and so far - I think this is day one - it ROCKS. Check it out:


So. I think we have covered before how much I love a carnival. It is my favorite form of humanity. The rides, the lights, the people watching - good GOD the people watching - the food...I love it all. I once wrote a poem titled "Ode to the Corndog." It had the word meatcicle in it. I really, REALLY, love me up a good carnival.

So you can imagine how totally out of my mind excited I was when our awesome friends/neighbors invited us to go to a little town west of here to attend the Apple Blossom Festival, and play at the carnival FOR FREE. (FIL runs a company that provides the carnival rides and games to local festivals and fairs.)

The Apple Blossom Festival? How cute is that? FOR FREE??? Did you hear my little heart sing? And THEN, it gets even better...and THEN, Mrs. Neighbor asked if I like to ride rides, because she loves to ride rides but her husband won't go on them. I was like, weeping with joy.

The only conflict here is that on Friday night I actually layed in bed and prayed to God to please oh please help me stop eating such bad for me food, and maybe, just maybe finally lose these last 10 pounds of weight that in good conscience cannot be attributed to any small children who were once, long ago, babies.

There's always tomorrow.

We got out of the car and instantly smelled the corndogs, which put me into a total headspin of "What I am Going to EAT" listmaking. The God of the Universe works in strange ways, however. Because right at that moment I looked around and saw 4 women my age who were at least - and I am not exaggerating to be mean or snarky here, I promise - at LEAST 150 pounds overweight. So I kept it in check and only had one teeny tiny corndog and some lemondade.

Which was good, because my friend Katina was not even kidding around about the riding of rides. We went upside down no less than 84,000 times. Sweet Pea watched from the ground and cheered me on. So for effect I screamed extra loud and made the "Rock and Roll" fingers that you are supposed to make just before your person is set to spin cycle on an oversized washing machine. Mr. G acted mildly embarrassed. Like he didn't realize that it was all for show and of course I would never act like that. Geeze.

We did lots of kid appropriate rides too, naturally. Sweet William begged to ride the motorcycles, but then looked uncharacteristically bored the entire time. (Unlike the poor 6 year old who screamed, "I WANT TO GET OFF THIS RIDE!" the entire time.) I did get him to crack a smile on the merry go round. But only on his third trip. (FREE RIDES!! NO LINES!! "Again Mommy? SURE!" AWESOME!!!) He reminded me so much of his daddy. Kinda like, "Meh. I'll go if you want me to. But I'd rather be playing golf."

Sweet Pea got brave and did two big kid rides with me. The scarier of the two was this seated sphere thing that flung you and spun you around. She LOVED it. But the pirate boat, not so much. I can tell she's not going to disappoint when she's bigger though. She was all about going fast and spinning round. Woohooo!

I did discover a couple things about being 35 years old at the carnival:

1) Prepare to be the oldest person on the Tornado by at least 20 years. You might find people your age on that one that looks like a hammer and goes all the way around. But they will not have very many teefs.

2) Prepare to be the ONLY people on the rides who can sing along to the AC/DC songs. (The ride operator asked us if we could name the band as we were boarding the Scrambler. We said "We know all the words!" And then watched as he excitedly told the other Carnies about the two old ladies who knew who AC/DC was.)

Ok. I take that back, there was one other person singing along. He was probably 10 years old, and he had a serious mullet. I am not even making that up. It was down to the middle of his back. In back. Heh.

3) You don't have to worry so much about throwing up, but you probably should pee before you ride. Those safety bars press on your bladder.

And 4) wear a good bra on the G-Force ride, or the girls will be pointing in opposite directions.

The good news is that the prizes at the game booths have not changed since at LEAST 1980. Which might make them cooler, given the nostalgia factor. We won two goldfish*, a wooden rose, and a creepy stuffed fish thing. We had ample opportunity to win one of those mirror wall hangings. When I saw the Obama one nestled between the Jack Daniels logo and a Playboy Bunny I was tempted.

*Meet our new pets. Currently they are named Doggie and Kitty. They have also spent time as Lizza and Swimmy, and Cheeto and Milk. Sweet Pea might get to name them something else before they die if she hurries.


1 comment:

Shannon (AnchorMommy) said...

Okay, first of all. This post is hilarious! I can just picture you, all giddy and hurling about on those rides.

Second of all -- I SO appreciate the AnchorMommy shout out! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and encouragement. It means a lot. :-)