Thursday, February 25, 2010

In the spirit of Lent, and Catholicism, and generally NOT going to hell in a hand basket I am going to exercise my right to over share on the interweb. This is another one for what my mom calls “The Bad Mommy Files.”** In other words, the many, many times when I have totally messed up as a parent. Or as a human, in front of my children. This might be the only one that qualifies as a misdemeanor though…No…Case #126 involved a traffic citation. Fanfreakintastic.

**You know, now that I think about it, my mom has been present for about 98% of the submissions into the Bad Mommy Files. Interesting. And again tonight, there she was by my side, quickly and quietly ushering me out the door...

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Our sordid tale begins with my mom telling me that she found a very cute pair of slip on athletic shoes on sale, and in my size. She wanted to buy them for me. I will tell you a little secret about that. I NEVER say no when my mom wants to buy me clothes. That just seems like a bad idea right there.

So there we were in the shoe section of the mega grocery/department store in my neighborhood. We had the kids with us. And it is probably worth noting that they were all hopped up on McDonalds. Not because that is particularly relevant to the story. But it does lend to the “I am a crap parent” theme. Right?

Sweet Pea, knowing that I am distracted, and also that her grandmother is present and she is allowed to do just about anything at all when her grandmother is present, takes the opportunity to try on a pair of peep toe wedge heel espadrille sandals that are about 3 sizes too big and, HELLO, total hoochy mama shoes made for a 7 year old. (However, for a 36 year old they would have been cute. In fact, they are exactly what I spent all last summer looking for. Le sigh.)

I was just in the process of explaining to her that they were not really appropriate shoes for a little girl. And she was just in the process of planting her hand on her hip and rolling her eyes at me - God help us – when baby brother found himself a pair of peep toe heels and started parading around the store too. (Let me tell you. Hooker shoes on your 5 year old daughter is terrifying. Hooker shoes on your 2 year old son is pretty freakin’ funny.)

We all had our laugh. Except for the clearly heartless man who was trying on ugly black athletic shoes not 3 feet away. I mean, COME ON DUDE. That is some really cute and funny stuff. Nothing? Really? Whatever...So, I go over to help Will get his own shoes back on and, OMg. It looks like a scene from Halloween XXI. Will has a cut on his finger that is bleeding, and we are talking some serious bio hazard spattered all over him, the shelf, the floor, and yep. The Shoes.

Everything kind of went to slow motion then, I shoved the shoes back in the box and put them on the shelf. Then I asked my mom for a wet wipe, hoping that I could be discreet for just a moment while I figured out what to do. But nope. Right about then, Sweet Pea sees the blood and starts screaming, “MOM, WILL IS BLEEDING. HE GOT BLOOD EVERYWHERE! IT’S EVERYWHERE MOM, THERE IS BLOOD ALL OVER EVERYTHING!!”

I think I hissed at her through my teeth, which will be really good fodder later when she is retelling this story to her therapist. And then I whispered to my mom that there was blood on the shoes, and should I buy them? And my mom asked if I had any money, and I said no, of course not. If I had money I wouldn’t be hissing at my daughter and trying to shove my 2 year old into my coat before he bled out all over ladies footwear. And my mom was unconvincingly all, “It’s probably fine.” And then we paid for my shoes while I held my breath waiting for the Hazmat team to haul me off. And then I ran out of the store and drove around my neighborhood calling people and asking them what I should do. (Everyone said to forget about it, it wasn’t a big deal. OMg. It is SUCH a big deal. Someone is going to open that shoe box and scream.)

And then we saw a raccoon. Which again, has no bearing on ANY of this. But it doesn’t happen all the time, and Will thought it was cool. So I’m just throwing it in here.

Anyhooo…I am pretty sure that I am not going to be able to sleep tonight. And I am pretty sure that I am going to go back up there tomorrow and buy those shoes. We can donate them to the children of one of the people who I called tonight. Since, clearly, you are all heathens who would probably not have any problem letting your young daughter wear hoochy mama high heels.

See. This is why I drink.


Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I have gotten all inspired by Lindzee over at Cordon Pink. So, from this day onward, I will be occasionally posting photojournalist style recounts of food we eat here at Casa Golightly.

OMG. I know. You are so freakin' excited you can hardly STAND. IT.

Mmmmmkay. Anyway...

Do you like how I am continuing to write this blog as though people might actually read it? I do that to make myself feel cool. And also to give myself a chuckle on those late nights when I go back and reread my blog for fun.

I know. I need therapy.

I should probably warn you in advance that I cook by looking, smelling, tasting, and generally faking it. I suck at recipes, and unless I am baking, I never measure stuff. In truth, sometimes that doesn't work out so well. But for the most part it's cool. You are just going to have to throw caution to the wind and do the same if you ever want to recreate one of these. Which is to say, all measurements are approximate. Also, I use some prepared foods to make things easier, and quite frankly, better. So if your sensibilities are going to be all offended because I didn't make everything from scratch, then. Um. Well. Sorry. (And, maybe you should drink more wine, Sister.)

But here you go. I'm starting with a Friday night fish dinner since it's Lent and all.

Not Quite as Good as Skippers, but a heckuva lot better for you Fish and Chips.

4 fillets of a mild white fish, like cod. No skin!! Ew.
1 large egg
2 tablespoons of milk
1 package of flavored mashed potato flakes. Like Idahoan brand with herbs and parmesan
salt and pepper for seasoning
Olive oil cooking spray

Your favorite frozen French fries. I prefer crinkle cut. You?

Go ahead and start making your fries as the package directs. Most frozen fries need to be baked at 425, and that’s a little hot for our fish. So I suggest getting those done first and keeping them warm while you make the fish. If you like your fries crispy, get them almost done and then keep them in the oven with the fish to crisp up. I always sprinkle mine with a little seasoning salt before they go in the oven.

Cool, or Preheat your oven to 350

In a shallow dish whisk your egg with the 2 tablespoons of milk. Open the package of potato flakes onto a plate. Season your fish fillets with salt and pepper on each side.

Dip each fish fillet into the egg mixture and coat on all sides. Immediately dredge in the potato mixture, pressing the flakes onto the fish to get a nice thick coating.

Place the coated fish on a non stick baking sheet.

Bake at 350 for 7 minutes on each side, or until the fish is no longer translucent, and flakes with a fork. Remove from the oven.

Spray the fillets lightly with the olive oil spray. Turn your broiler on and return the fish to the oven to broil until they turn a nice brown color. (About a minute.)

Serve with fries, tartar sauce, and a big green salad.


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Is there anything cuter than a little boy in mooose pj's and a tutu?

Nope. Nope. And, NOPE!

Well...unless you teach him how to "shake his booty" like a bumblebee.

What do you think of that Jack?

That's what I thought.


Friday, February 19, 2010

Soo...Whady'all think of Tiger's apology? I haven't seen it yet. Not sure I even want to. I just keep thinking that maybe when you have everything you could ever need, you start inventing things to want. Bummer.

Of course the big news here in Hideyhoo is about the 8 missionaires who got to come home from Hatian jail today. Not sure excatly what I think of that whole mess either. Part of me wonders if this was a very arrogant woman who let her need to feel like a hero get the best of her. Part of me wonders if she was being influenced by someone with very, very, terrible motives. Yucky. I just keep praying for those children.

Speaking of children who needed praying for...Say a couple for my nephew if you could. I have this feeling that his life is in a place of limbo right now. And the adult trusted to make good decisions on his behalf may not be living up to her end of the bargain. Sadness.

But on a good note, I saw "The Blind Side" last night. And I may just have a new favorite movie!! Thanks to my friend J for sharing her movie passes with me. That was F.U.N!!

That's all for my headspace today. What's up with all of you?

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I keep watching this over and over. It is so nostalgic, but even better the second time around. And that it is helping the people in Haiti makes my heart smile.

We donated a weekend at Chalet Golightly to a silent auction and helped raise $350 for Haiti! And I am scheduled to give blood on Thursday. It doesn't seem like much in the face of so much devistation. But I suppose every little bit helps.

So please watch and have your heart warmed too. And if you can, download it and give $10 to the efforts to help those poor people.

We ARE the world. They need us in Haiti.


Monday, February 08, 2010

Sweet William: "Get a job Mom!"

Me: "Uh..."

Sweet Pea: "Yeah mom, you should get a job."

Me: "I have a job."

Sweet Pea: "What is it?"

Me: "Taking care of you."

Sweet Pea: "That's not a job. That's just work."



Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, Ladies and Gentlemen…

Today my scale shows the lowest number that is has shown since the beginning of my pregnancy with what we now know to be the biggest baby in the world…nay, universe.

Which means that I have conquered the Holiday backslide, and I am now, officially, one pound closer to losing what I (in good conscience) really need to stop referring to as baby weight. Especially given that said “baby” is right this second climbing onto countertops and talking about Tank Engines on the Island of Sodor. He’s probably also putting a lot of thought into where he wants to do his undergrad.

I’d like to thank Gold’s Gym, my purple trimmed Asics, lean protein, crunchy veggies, the Black Eyed Peas, and last but certainly not least, water. We've still got a long way to go, but I couldn’t do it without you.