Tuesday, February 08, 2011
I realized today that I spend what is probably an inordinate amount of time trying to decide if I have totally lost my mind.
I also came to the conclusion that because I wonder about that, it probably means I haven’t tipped the scales just yet. I mean, crazy people don’t ever think they are crazy. Right?
I’m not sure exactly why this is a concern of mine. I decided long ago that a nice little mental breakdown might not be such a bad thing. Spend a few weeks hanging out in my jammies at a nice place that serves jello and has lots of crafts…As long as insanity looks like it did in that movie KPAX you can sign me up.
I have a feeling that’s not how it would go down for me though. I think it might be more of the “showing up to a society function wearing pearls and a bathrobe” variety. Or a murderous rampage over wrinkly table linens and botched catering.
You know how I like to put on a show.
I do hope that if its age that robs me of my mental capacity, I can become one of those smiley happy old ladies who thinks she’s a high school cheerleader or something equally cheerful. My grandmother, in her final years, took me on a tour of the facility where she was living and told me with great respect and admiration that her mother had picked out all of the beautiful fixtures. Even at the very end, when she rarely spoke, the staff and residents said she was a joy and delight to be around.
I can’t remember what it was that I had to examine for hints of madness earlier today. Whatever it was, it passed the crazy test. (Or did it fail the crazy test and pass the sanity test? Hmm. There’s another 10 minutes of thought I’m not getting back.)
I suppose for now, I’ll have to settle for being deliciously eccentric.