Tuesday, February 25, 2014

I took Sweet Pea with me to a baby shower on Sunday.  She spent a good chunk of it with a tiny 6 week old baby girl sleeping sweetly in her lap, while I walked and swayed the snoozing twin sister. 

Ever since we left the party it’s been a full court press from both kids about having a baby brother or sister.  Sweet Pea has had the Birds n’ Bees talk, so she is advocating for adoption.  William, on the other hand, is totally bent that he never got to experience being the big brother to a belly bump.  So he would like me to have another baby please and thank you. 

Both kids are working it.  Yesterday they wrapped up Sweet Pea’s Baby Alive Doll (who was inexplicably only speaking Spanish) and carted her around while we ran errands.

At some point in our endless driving across town, Will decided that all my age appropriate answers to his very advanced biology questions weren’t cutting it.  About that same time Baby Alive started speaking English again…

Will: So how does the baby get into the Mommy’s tummy?

Me: When a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much…

Will: I KNOW that the Mommy and Daddy love each other.  But HOW do they put the baby in the Mommy’s tummy?

Me:  Well, God helps because it is the miracle of life.

Sweet Pea: Seriously??  I had to wait until the third grade to hear this, and you’re going to tell him RIGHT NOW?

Me:  We are just having a discussion.  Much like the discussions that we had when you were 6 years old.  It’s not THE discussion.  Just A discussion.

Will: You had to wait until the third grade to hear what?

Baby Alive: Mommy, I’m thirsty.  Can I have a drink?

Me: (I wish I had a drink.)  Will, do you remember that I told you that men make sperm and women make eggs?

Will: Yes, but not like chicken eggs.

Me: Correct.  Tiny eggs that are so tiny you can’t see them unless you have a microscope.

Will:  What about sperm?  Can you see those?  What do they look like?

Me: They are also tiny, but if you have a microscope they look like…uh…little bugs.  No, wait…like um...tadpoles.  (pause while I panic about the confusion I’m sure I just created.)  Anyway…so the sperm and the egg get together and start to form cells.  And then those cells split and grow into more cells.  And pretty soon the cells are big enough that you can see them without a microscope.  (I think I’m brilliant now because I have totally sidetracked him with fascinating science talk.) 

Will: How do the sperm and egg get together?

Me: Weeeellll…God helps.  That’s the part God helps with.  Because it is a miracle, making life.  (……silence……) You know, your body is always growing new cells too.  Your skin, and your bones, and your brain make new cells all the time.  Also your blood and…

Will: So I used to be a sperm?

Baby Alive: Mommy, can I please have a drink of water?

Me: (Frantically looking for a place to pull over and get poor Baby Alive some water.) Uh…well, not really because a sperm can’t make a baby without an egg.

Will: I was a sperm.

Me:  No, you were a sperm plus an egg.

Will:  Mom, can you tell me that whole long story again?

Me:  Er…you mean about when a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much?

Will: No, the one about how I was in your tummy and Sissy wanted to name me a girl name…