Facebook and I had our first big fight right before Christmas, and I thought we might break up. At the very least, it was clear that I needed some time to figure a few things out. But after a few days of being apart I realized that I missed Facebook. I mean…I thought that maybe by taking a break I would realize how much time I wasted on my news feed. I thought maybe life was whizzing past me while I was watching Dear Kitten videos. But, no. The only thing different was that I didn’t know what was going on with anyone else because, Facebook.
I did have time in the midst of our brief parting, to give thought to what I like and don’t like about sharing snippets of my life on the interwebs. I mean, Facebook certainly serves its purpose. I like to share pictures of the kids and funny little one liners as much as the next yoga-pants-wearing Philosopher. But sometimes going through my day I realize that there is a narrator in my head condensing every little thing into a witty Facebook post, and it makes me crazy. I don’t want to be like that. Because after a while you start to believe your own bullshit, and you think that people actually want to hear your musings on traffic. Or see pictures of your lunch. Once I read that celebrities can develop this syndrome where if something they do isn’t reported by the tabloids, it doesn’t seem real to them. I wonder if Facebook is doing that to the rest of us.
That said, I’m a writer - Despite the fact that I spend 80% of my working life and a big chunk of my free time writing, it’s hard for me to say that and not doubt that it’s true - I AM a writer. I need to write the things in my head down to process them, to preserve them, to share them, to make them real and significant. Or sometimes to take away their power and make them go away. The bonus of Facebook is that people respond to that. I realize I like the interaction. Also, like the rest of population earth I have iphoned myself straight into full blown ADD. So it’s pretty impossible for me to sit in the waiting room of anywhere and not look at Facebook. Damnit.
Unfortunately, there’s a lot of stuff going on in my head that I just can’t do justice in a couple of sentences. I want to write paragraphs. And have photos with captions. I wanna talk about all the feels. I want to describe details and document the little steps we take in our life so that my kids can have that history someday. On Facebook that comes across as needy or fake. Or…you know, boring.
I want my blog back.
My blog is cathartic. I don’t often feel misunderstood here. I don’t worry if I’m being boring. (Probably because no one reads this!) That was a lot of words to get to the point. Which is fine! Because this is a blog!
I’m going to really and sincerely try to write more. Less Facebook, more blog.