Monday, April 11, 2016

Once upon a time, I thought I was living a fairy tale life.  Maybe not perfect by Disney standards.  But pretty wonderful by mine.  And then suddenly I wasn’t.  I’ve been separated from my husband since September.  Which is really all I’m interested in saying about that right now.  Not because I’m embarrassed or ashamed.  But because it’s real life.  It’s messy, and evolving, and painful.  

Also, the only story that gets told here is mine, no matter how objective and honest I try to be.  And this isn’t a story about one person.  Or two people.  At minimum this is a story that has dramatically changed the lives of four people.  I don’t want my story to shout so loudly that it starts to crowd into those other three.    

It probably seems weird for a girl who writes posts about PMS and her underpants to go silent on something as big as my life being turned upside down and inside out.  Or maybe it seems strange to bring it up at all.  Well, here’s the deal...I want to keep writing about my life.  And I couldn’t do that with the elephant in the room.  So the elephant has officially been introduced and offered a cup of tea.  Now we can get on with this business of healing and living.  

I will answer the most frequently asked question:  We’re fine.  I’m Ok, the kids are Ok.  It’s all going to be Ok.  I’m getting used to my new life, and I like a lot of things about it.  I like my new house.  I like my new neighbors.  The kids are settled and happy.  They have made some new friends.  They like the time they spend at their dad’s apartment too, and they are happy that they get to see him almost every day.  

Yeah, we’re sad.  We go to grief counseling.  Sometimes our hearts hurt a lot.  But we know that we will be Ok.  I’ve learned so much about myself.  About being brave when you’re terrified.  About being strong because you don’t have any other choice.  And about having faith when you feel like all God’s promises are unraveling around you.  

Most importantly I’ve learned to trust that my story isn’t over, and I’ve never liked stories that don’t have happy endings.